Belles to Brides: July 2008

Welcome

Some women have had the whole scenario planned out since they were 12. The impossibly perfect white lace gown that makes you look like a princess (including the teeny-tiny waist), the colors your BFF Susie from down the block would look great in, and you've practiced “the wedding walk” up and down your hallway to make sure you won’t trip over your 10 foot train. Simply add Prince Charming and you have the wedding of your dreams. But there might have been a couple things you didn’t think to add to your adolescent fantasy... like buying those flowers you saw in the magazine but now can't afford rent, having to tell your over-obsessive mother to stop calling – the wedding is still a year away, or the possible doom and gloom of a rainy day.

This blog is an invitation to all you brides-to-be out there who are struggling to make the dream come true. I want to give you some honest advice along with the best inside information about this new and confusing world you just stepped into.

Yes it is possible to pull this off!!

You may need to lean on a couple of people you don’t know or cry on a couple of virtual shoulders to get there but on the bright side
advice is always free.

This is will be one of the most exciting yet tense experiences of your life. My aim is to keep you sane with a few helpful tips, some useful knowledge and a little humor.

Read what others are saying and add a little of your own.....

A Favorable Pick

Are you having problems finding just the right favor for your guests? There are so many sites out there but I wanted to give you my opinion. That's what this site is for right?

Here are the Belles to Brides top 3 picks for interesting and fun gifts
More...

#1 American Bridal
Wedding Favor Ideas -A wide variety of gift ideas - some more traditional and a couple not.My personal favorites are these chocolate bath salts for your guest table favors. Works perfectly with your chocolate brown wedding theme! Or cute as can be "two peas in a pod" salt and pepper shakers. Delicate Asian theme wedding? Look at these sake cup favors. Comes in a set of 12 so end ups being about a dollar apiece.
All in all - there are tons of styles and fun items to choose from, and shipping is free if you spend more than $149

Wedding Guest Favors
Chocolate Bath Salts $3.50

Wedding Guest Favors
Peas in a Pod Salt/Pepper Shaker $3.75

Wedding Guest Favors
Blue Bamboo Sake Cups (set of 12) $25.00

#2 Hanson Ellis
Personalized Wedding Gifts
Make it your own. Make it a gift that will be remembered.
Look at these - personalized magic beans! I was flabbergasted, they are grown with your names or a short message on them. A great idea for an earthy bohemian reception or if you want to add a special touch to your garden party dinner.
Above and beyond customer service with an excellent website that is easy to navigate.

Save 20% on Pers onalized Engraved Gifts

#3 Sophies Favors
Cutest website. I like that she divided everything not only by theme but by colors as well which makes it easier to search for that pale yellow favor box you've been looking for.
I really liked these delicate rose soaps. $1.99 for a heart box of 6. Give out the whole box as a gift to your bridesmaids or separate them as an inexpensive table favor!

$1.99 Rose Petal Favor

SOPHIE'S FAVORS - Unique Favors, Gifts and Party Supplies

Details.....

A Toast to You

Lets face it. You can’t control everything. Even after all your hours and days and months of careful preparation there is still that nagging suspicion that the Best Man is going to ruin your masterpiece of perfection with one of those lame inside jokes that no one gets. Your Maid of Honor has been a blessing to you and held your hand through multiple wedding decisions, but she has already told you that she isn’t very good at knowing what to say for toasts and will probably just end up sobbing and sitting down without finishing anyway. Now I’m sure no bride would write everyone’s speeches for them or specify exactly what to say……but what harm could possibly come from giving a push in the right direction? I found a couple of sites that I liked the most that give you all the information you (I mean your bridal party) would need to get the most out what they REALLY want to say. More...

The BM can still have his witty comments and the MOH can feel at ease knowing exactly what to say and still have the option for a tear or two. Maybe have your Dad check it out too just in case he was planning on bringing up that one, uh, incident….that one time…..you know what I’m talking about.

If you would prefer a pre-written-pre-approved

toast and be absolutely sure of success

check out Instant Wedding Speeches

If you want peace of mind but still want the eloquent

from the heart oration that only your closest loved ones

can give try Wedding Speech 4 You

Are you worried about what you want to say? That’s ok, because there are plenty of tips for writing beautifully meaningful Vows for you and your soon-to-be.

Do you have any tips for getting over vow-writing block ? Perhaps a funny story of a wedding where the bride obviously did NOT approve the speeches? Do Tell!

The Posse

You just breezed out of the dressing room in an absolutely drop-dead- gorgeous silk charmeuse Vera Wang knock-off. The sleek fabric gives a sway to your hips as you make your way to the mirror, smiling as you say to yourself “this is the one – I LOVE it!” There are gasps and murmurings behind you and as you strike a model pose so you can make sure your backside looks as good as the front in the figure-flattering mermaid cut. You turn to the cluster of family and friends to bask in their admiration and approval only to find that most are shaking their heads in disgust. Grandma makes a face and declares the lace A-line was MUCH prettier to which Aunt Cathy agrees and adds her thoughts about how uncomfortable the dress looks. Your older sister Jenny, who never really understood your evolved sense of style, loudly expresses her distaste for how tight fitting and see through the fabric is. Cousin Beth likes it well enough but reminds you that you have only been to 5 shops and when she got married she went to at least 10 before finding “the one”. Your 6 bridesmaids are still talking amongst themselves but you gather the vote is not good and Mom has a strained look on her face as she says for the fourth time that day that she loves it if YOU love it. You are close to tears but dutifully return to the dressing room to try on the rack of overly-beaded polyester gowns Jenny picked out for you.
More...

Over-exaggerated as this scenario may be, some of you may be facing a similar fate on a smaller scale or for others maybe this was pretty much right on track. There is a very delicate line that all brides must walk during the pre-wedding shopping and of course every single person who is close to you will have an opinion that more than likely will clash horribly with your own. The bridezilla bully is probably the most popular defense tactic as well the most well known followed closely by the stick-your-head-in-the -sand maneuver. That fine line is a difficult place to be for any blushing bride but aside from screaming “MY DAY, MY WAY” every five minutes, you have the obligation to be as gracious with your family and friends as you are firm. Never allow your own vision to be overrun by the expectations of others. Of course this mantra must be molded to the individual family dynamics and one should never be so rigid in their planning that there is no room for compromise.

In my years as a bridal consultant there are a couple tips I tell every bride whether they are planning on an extended family shopping experience or just their closest friends. I hope you find these helpful!

• Do YOU even know what you are looking for?
Do your research before dragging a dozen people to busy bridal shops where the consultants looks on helplessly as all twelve ladies emerge with armloads of wedding gowns you would never have picked out yourself.

• Do some undercover work.
Once you find the shops in your area that carry the designs you like don’t be afraid to go on your own or with you favorite shopping buddy. It is imperative to have clarity of what your own thoughts are regarding certain cuts, styles, and fabrics. If your initial dress shopping experience is free from the influence of others you have less chance of buyers remorse later.

• Try them on!
You might be very surprised when that backless halter style you have been eying in the magazine does not give you the illusion of bustiness you were hoping for. Find out what looks good on your shape and have a working knowledge of the styles that will create the look you are going for and the ones that definitely will not.

• Be specific
Have a pre-shopping meeting detailing your particular style do’s and don’ts. Bring pictures, style numbers, sketches or whatever works for you.

• Pre-approved
Have a couple dresses picked out that you have already tried on and decided on as possible purchasables and show the family only those dresses. They will appreciate that they are in on the final say and you might be surprised at how quick to approve women are if they know already that you love the dress. It’s the open-ended dress shoppers that invite negative evaluations because there might be a “better one” out there.

Did you have an experience like this? Do you have helpful tips for others?
Write a comment and share!

Don't Sweat It!

Phraseology

There are a few terms,procedures and issues that are frequently referred to in bridal salons. As the bride and for your own benefit as a consumer, you should have a working knowledge of these topics. This will help you in your shopping adventure and allow you to side-step any misunderstandings with your bridal shop.

No Returns/No Refunds: No Joke More...

One of the most contested policies in the bridal industry. Raving and ranting is the norm when it comes to this one little phrase, but let me assure you, this is a non-negotiable issue.

From a consumer point of view, this is sometimes seen as poor client relations and a frustrating ploy by the bridal shop to squeeze as much money as possible out of a bride. Aside from the reputation that bridal stores have in general, it is in their best interest to make you as happy as possible, meaning any issue must be unavoidable and finding a solution should be your primary goal not assessing blame.
I truly sympathize with anyone who has paid money for an item that is no longer needed and now cannot get the money back. It is a bitter pill to swallow. That being said, I must be straightforward when I say that there are many reasons for canceling an order, all of them real and most times very emotional, but unfortunately can have no bearing on the agreement between you and the bridal salon. Bridal shops use contracts as protective measures, being a middle affiliate between you and the manufacturer, to ensure that by purchasing the dress and signing the contract you have agreed to having the factory to start making a dress for you and only you not to be returned.
The business that you purchased from has already paid for the gown and since manufacturers have the same exact policy of no return, cannot get any money back for the gown. By allowing a refund, not only would the shop be losing your money but also would be losing whatever amount they put forward for the dress on your behalf. In addition to this, the store is now stuck with unexpected inventory and overhead that must be sold at a discounted price as a floor sample because it is no longer a custom order. A good majority of bridal salons are privately owned and simply don’t have the funds to be constantly losing money every time a wedding is canceled or a bridesmaid backs out of the bridal party.

Aside from the above, it never hurts to ask. Be gracious and understanding of their policy and provide a full explanation of the circumstances. You may strike a cord, especially if you talk with upper management, which could work to your advantage. If the bridal salon is steadfast in their policy, anger is understandable but useless and serves only to agitate yourself further and create a scene. There are plenty of opportunities to sell the gown at a bridal consignment store or go on Ebay!

Bridal shops make no secret of this policy. If not displayed on a sign somewhere, it is most certainly detailed on your purchase agreement or contract. Please be aware of this stipulation and make sure that there is no foreseeable possibility of your need to cancel the order.

Alterations: Will you need them More...

The majority of brides and bridesmaids need to have alterations done to their gown.

Be sure to check with your bridal salon to see if they have an in-house seamstress or at the very least someone they recommend. Just because a seamstress advertises does not mean that they know how to sew specifically for bridal. There is a big difference between basic tailoring and the skills needed for bridal alterations. Your gown should not be entrusted to a novice, so get recommendations!!

Take note that alterations are not always included in the price of the gown, even if the seamstress works for the bridal salon you purchased from. Most shops cannot accommodate free alterations buy building it into the sale price of the gown simply because there is no way of gauging what changes will need to be done. Some are very extensive (pregnant bridesmaids or a maid of honor that lost 20lbs just for the wedding) and some are lucky enough to not need any. It is simply in the best interest of you and your bridesmaids as well as the shop to keep it separated despite the inconvenience.

Remember to budget for these alterations when asking a friend to be in the wedding party. There is quite a bit more expense than just the cost of the dress.

Custom Order/Custom Made: Confusion More...

When the word ‘custom’ is thrown around the bridal industry as much as it is, it’s understandable that the bride would be confused and frustrated when the dress needs to be altered after. Let me illuminate on the order process and how these dresses are purchased for you.

Custom order (also termed special order) means that the dress has been purchased specifically for you and was cut only after the order was placed. This differentiates these designers and their product from mass-produced gowns that might have been hanging on a rack and tried on a bunch of times before you bought it. The misunderstanding lies in the assumption on the part of the bride or bridesmaid that the measurements that were taken at the time of order were then used to cut the gown exactly to her dimensions. Cut-to-order gowns still must adhere to a set parameter of measurement as specified by that particular company (i.e. a Mon Cheri size 12 has a bust of 38” a waist of 29.5“ and hip of 41“) and is never deviated from. The measurements taken at the time of order were used only as a guideline to order the closest possible size according to the size chart. More than likely there will need to be additional alterations to get the best fit. If you are curious about these sizing guidelines, take a look at the website for the designer you are purchasing from as most will list the sizing charts somewhere on their site. Please note that all designers have different standards of measurements for sizing, meaning that just because you were a size 6 in a Bill Levkoff bridesmaid dress for your friends wedding last year does not mean you will automatically be a size 6 in an Anjolique bridal gown.

Custom Made is a type of order usually done only with bridal gowns. It means that there has been some special changes made to the style of the gown (i.e. Hallow to hem, changing of the neckline, added beading) within a certain specification of measurements provided by the bridal salon upon ordering. Customization adds extra charges to the price of the gown as well as may require more time to be made.

Discontinuations: How often? More...

Manufacturers typically discontinue gowns twice a year right before the newest line is ready to hit the stores. Discontinuations for the Spring/Summer line occur around February or March and the purchase market is in April. The Fall/Winter discontinuations take place in July or August and the market for the line in September.

Perhaps you’re a bride who would like to wait until the newest line comes out to buy something brand new. Perfectly fine, but I would give a word of caution to stay on the safe side and purchase a gown no matter the season to ensure that you will have it shipped on time. The seasons for bridal gowns aren’t the same as the seasons for street clothes. For instance, a dress that comes out in the fall/winter line is not meant as a ‘winter-y’ or heavier dress, the designers make it their business to ensure the dresses are as universally usable as possible.

The main dilemma for these discontinuations is the fear that even though you are not ready to buy just yet, the dress you love will not be able to be purchased at a later date. Don’t let yourself be persuaded into a sale by a saleswoman with whiles urging you to buy the dress that day because it can be discontinued at any time. If you want to wait a couple weeks, don’t sweat it. If a few months, you may want to double check, it does happen but should never be used as a sales tactic. Ask what season the dress is from (or find out yourself) because most dresses will stick around for a full year or so to test how well it is selling, after this time if it has not been reordered enough it will be discontinued. Bridal salons do not have the inside scoop on which ones will be dropped, they are only given a list of discontinued gowns by the manufacturer right before the drop date.

The flip-side of the ongoing and frequent discontinuations is the possibility of snagging a floor sample at a fraction of the cost. Discontinued dresses cannot be remade (see below) and are now taking up valuable floor space forcing the shop to sell it at a greatly discounted price to get it out the door. Find a slightly worn designer gown on clearance!

There are a few manufacturers that do not discontinue dresses at all. Only the very largest corporations do this, the one I am most familiar with is Casablanca Bridal. Other designers may discontinue a dress but will keep all the specifications on file. For example Mikaella Bridal will re-cut a disc gown but charge a cutting fee.

Bustles: Types, Tips, Trains More...

A train adds elegance and prestige to any style of wedding gown, however after a certain point it becomes a burden to carry over your arm. A bustle is a pinning up of the skirt, usually done after the ceremony and pictures when the bride needs to have more mobility without dragging the train.

Your seamstress will sew a custom bustle for you at the same time as any other alterations. There are some gowns that come with a bustle already sewn into the skirt but the majority of dresses need to have it customized to your specifications (i.e. your height with heels on).

Not every dress has the option of doing any style of bustle. Some gowns simply work best with one style or the other because of the way the train is detailed. Ask the seamstress for her opinion and perhaps ask to see examples of the different styles to make an educated decision.

There are various types of bustles but the two main styles are:

An Under-Bustle (also called French) picks up the train in multiple places and tucks under the fabric creating a bubble-like look. Longer trains will need more pick-ups and will cascade in layers down the back

Over-Bustle creates classic folds over the skirt attached at the top of the train (at the waist) or middle part of skirt to ensure the length of the train stays consistent with the hem in the front.

Bustles are held in place with hooks, ties, clear buttons, snaps ect. Your seamstress may have a preference or experienced advice about what version works best. Bustles can vary in complexity. A single point (place of attachment) bustle is usually done on simpler gowns with a sweep train, or multiple points for extremely long trains or skirts with lots of detail that should be showing. This will manipulate the train to not only stay off the floor but also keep the detail in view.

Tips:
Bring your shoes! You should have the shoe (or a comparable heel height) for all of your fittings to ensure the length is perfect. Once the hem is cut it cannot be undone – make sure!

If your bustle is more than two points, be sure to bring a bridesmaid or your personal attendant to the second fitting when the bustle is complete. Ask your seamstress to show them exactly how the bustle is done. This makes for a lot less confusion when you want to get out on the dance floor!

Welcome

A Favorable Pick

Details.....

A Toast to You

The Posse

10 Day Fat Loss

Don't Sweat It!

Wedding Extras

Contents

Blog Archive

Genevieve Lynette Designs

Search 2.0

Bridal Store

Don't know what to get your attendants? Be original - See what's out there!

American Bridal Accesories

Earn Extra Honeymoon Cash!!

About Me

Phraseology

Find Your Song

The Tuxedo Guide

Picture Perfect

Genevieve Lynette Designs

Fat Loss for Idiots

Brideorama

Welcome

A Favorable Pick

Details.....

A Toast to You

The Posse

Subscribe To

10 Day Fat Loss

Don't Sweat It!

Wedding Extras

Contents

Blog Archive

Genevieve Lynette Designs

Search 2.0

Bridal Store

Don't know what to get your attendants? Be original - See what's out there!

American Bridal Accesories

Earn Extra Honeymoon Cash!!

About Me

Phraseology

Find Your Song

The Tuxedo Guide

Picture Perfect

Genevieve Lynette Designs

Fat Loss for Idiots

Brideorama