You just breezed out of the dressing room in an absolutely drop-dead- gorgeous silk charmeuse Vera Wang knock-off. The sleek fabric gives a sway to your hips as you make your way to the mirror, smiling as you say to yourself “this is the one – I LOVE it!” There are gasps and murmurings behind you and as you strike a model pose so you can make sure your backside looks as good as the front in the figure-flattering mermaid cut. You turn to the cluster of family and friends to bask in their admiration and approval only to find that most are shaking their heads in disgust. Grandma makes a face and declares the lace A-line was MUCH prettier to which Aunt Cathy agrees and adds her thoughts about how uncomfortable the dress looks. Your older sister Jenny, who never really understood your evolved sense of style, loudly expresses her distaste for how tight fitting and see through the fabric is. Cousin Beth likes it well enough but reminds you that you have only been to 5 shops and when she got married she went to at least 10 before finding “the one”. Your 6 bridesmaids are still talking amongst themselves but you gather the vote is not good and Mom has a strained look on her face as she says for the fourth time that day that she loves it if YOU love it. You are close to tears but dutifully return to the dressing room to try on the rack of overly-beaded polyester gowns Jenny picked out for you.
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Over-exaggerated as this scenario may be, some of you may be facing a similar fate on a smaller scale or for others maybe this was pretty much right on track. There is a very delicate line that all brides must walk during the pre-wedding shopping and of course every single person who is close to you will have an opinion that more than likely will clash horribly with your own. The bridezilla bully is probably the most popular defense tactic as well the most well known followed closely by the stick-your-head-in-the -sand maneuver. That fine line is a difficult place to be for any blushing bride but aside from screaming “MY DAY, MY WAY” every five minutes, you have the obligation to be as gracious with your family and friends as you are firm. Never allow your own vision to be overrun by the expectations of others. Of course this mantra must be molded to the individual family dynamics and one should never be so rigid in their planning that there is no room for compromise.
In my years as a bridal consultant there are a couple tips I tell every bride whether they are planning on an extended family shopping experience or just their closest friends. I hope you find these helpful!
• Do YOU even know what you are looking for?
Do your research before dragging a dozen people to busy bridal shops where the consultants looks on helplessly as all twelve ladies emerge with armloads of wedding gowns you would never have picked out yourself.
• Do some undercover work.
Once you find the shops in your area that carry the designs you like don’t be afraid to go on your own or with you favorite shopping buddy. It is imperative to have clarity of what your own thoughts are regarding certain cuts, styles, and fabrics. If your initial dress shopping experience is free from the influence of others you have less chance of buyers remorse later.
• Try them on!
You might be very surprised when that backless halter style you have been eying in the magazine does not give you the illusion of bustiness you were hoping for. Find out what looks good on your shape and have a working knowledge of the styles that will create the look you are going for and the ones that definitely will not.
• Be specific
Have a pre-shopping meeting detailing your particular style do’s and don’ts. Bring pictures, style numbers, sketches or whatever works for you.
• Pre-approved
Have a couple dresses picked out that you have already tried on and decided on as possible purchasables and show the family only those dresses. They will appreciate that they are in on the final say and you might be surprised at how quick to approve women are if they know already that you love the dress. It’s the open-ended dress shoppers that invite negative evaluations because there might be a “better one” out there.
Did you have an experience like this? Do you have helpful tips for others?
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3 comments:
HAHA! I know you made up the story in the beginning but I had almost the same exact thing happen to me when I was a bridal consultant.
I'm getting married in a year and I thought it would be easy because I had all the background info.....not so much.
My advice to any bride - plan,plan,plan,plan,plan!!
Get as much information you can before you go to any stores cuz they will try and talk you into getting something you don't want (believe me, I was the talker)
If you tell them exactly what you want most places will be very helpful in trying to get exactly that for you.
I've already been to a few bridal shops,not a ton, but I think I found "the one" at the first place (it was even the first dress I tried on) Is it best to keep on looking or just go with my gut. I would hate to get that buyers regret you were talking about.
Hi Trish,
It has happened before and I'm sure will happen again. I have seen it more than once - falling in love with the first dress you try on (you might say, love at first sight:-)
Most brides confuse themselves by going to every single store in the area and at each one find a "maybe" dress. It's actually best not to go to too many stores, it's just too many dresses and too confusing. If you know it's the one...go for it. If you don't think about the buyers remorse, it won't come. It's the brides that focus on all the dresses out there they DIDN'T buy who have remorse and alot of times those are the ones who regret thier purchase. With that line of thinking you will never be satisfied.
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